An Aristotlean account of Friendship

It never fails, have a question or idea in your mind and within days somebody will happen to hit upon that topic. Lately I have been pondering the nature of human relationships. What is love? What is friendship? What does it mean to care about another individual? Thankfully today some firends and I had a wonderful discussion on the nature of friendship from Aristotle's point of view. I wish to both reiterate this discussion and clarify for myself as well as the reader Aristotle's conception of the relationships among friends. It is my opinion that while much of the philosophy of the Greeks as been abandoned or expanded upon to the point of no longer being recognizable as ancient Greek thought, some of their ideas still hold merit today.

Aristotle believed that true friendship had three characteristics; 1) it is a voluntary relationship, nobody could force a friendship at gun point for example, 2) friendship involves mutual affection, and 3) affection is based on good will. These seem to be fairly straight forward principles, for I doubt if anyone could argue well the idea that one could ever be friends with someone while under duress, and affection is not a spontaneous outburst, it involves a cultivated good will.

Aristotle proposes three types of friends; the moral friend, the pleasure friend, and the advantage friend. Of these types Aristotle values the moral friend the most, and his reasonings behind this distinction make a very good argument. He noted that among moral friends their aim or object of pursuing that friendship is virtuous; intellectual development and development of one's character. The nature of the moral friendship is valued for the sake of the friend as an individual rather than any other reason. The foundation principle of such a friendship is the moral good; both friends wish to see one another achieve self-actualization in their intellectual affairs and the development of their character. Finally, among moral friends the affection is substantive; in other words the friendship has a kind of permanence despite individual situations.

Among pleasure friends the situation is much different. These are the people you see at your favourite pub and anjoy pleasurable activities with. The object of the friendship is pleasure or the maximization of fun. The nature of the friendship is based solely on achieving pleasure and the friendship is founded upon physical/material good rather than moral good. Finally, unlike the case of the substantive affection of the moral friend the affection of the pleasure friend is incidental. You throw a party and after it is done you wish for your pleasure friends to kindly leave, while with a moral friend you would ask when you might see them again, and you take more than a passing interest in their well being.

Finally we have the case of the advantage friend, perhaps the most morally repugnant form of friendship and yet one of the most popular types. The object of pursuing advantage friends is personal profit or gain, it is solely based on self interest. The nature of the friendship is based upon an advantage provided, and the foundation principle of such a friendship is based on all sorts of personal profit. Like the pleasure friend the affection is incidental; so long as the wealthy friend pays for delightful vacations the affection is there, but once the personal advantage ceases to be the affection also ceases to exist.

In all of the above cases substantive good will is genuine good will, while incidental good will depends on the situation. For Aristotle the virtuous will have high intelligence and a firm determination; they will know what is right or wrong in a given situation and they will have the strength of character to do what is right. In this sense moral friends know what is right and they will act upon it. They value each other for who they are as individuals; their nature, character and habits. Since one's nature and character do not change overnight, the moral friendship which is based on nature and character also does not change quickly, it is more permanent.

It is interesting to note that all of the benefits provided by pleasure friends and advantage friends can also be provided by moral friends. The difference lies within the orientation of that friendship; a moral friendship is based on the sake of the friend whereas the other forms of friendship are based on physical/material goods.

In our little group which was discussing these matters, someone pointed out how sad it is that we tend to gravitate more towards pleasure and advantage friends. If one was seeking a new friend through the classifieds in a newspaper the vast majority would tend to be more interested in those who advertise their interests as being fun, achievement of pleasure, good times etc. rather than an individual who would advertise themselves as being focused on the moral good, what is best for society, social justice and so forth. The individual questioned what this situation has to say about the state of humanity. In my opinion it simply clearly states the natural side of our existence. When we bite into a chocolate bar, or swig a beer, or have an orgasm we have all kinds of chemical reactions within our brains which simply convince us unconciously that we are enjoying ourselves. If humans did not have these natural chemical drives towards gaining pleasure there simply would be no breeding, no progress or economic growth; everybody would simply be living a life of pure reason, which in itself seems an impossible existence for a partly natural being such as a human. Pleasure is our reward for fulfilling our roles as natural beings; we procreate, we consume and we create waste.

In any case it is interesting to note the truth of what Aristotle has placed before us. We all would easily admit that the vast majority of our friendships tend to be pleasure friendships, followed by advantage friendships, and finally we tend to have but a few moral friendships. Of all such friendships it is the moral friendships we value the most. This is because there is an unbreakable bond that we have fostered with the other individual, and being loved in such a manner is more valuable to a being which is both natural but also rational than any other material pleasure could ever provide.